Leaves are now beginning to yellow, I set the first fire in the big fireplace to warm the great room last night. It was cold - not yet freezing - but cold enough that the flickering glow and the warmth from the fireplace was very welcome. Soon the chill will drive most evening activity inside. The indoor activities to keep the place up will begin.... I've been asked to repaint and install a wainscot in one of the upstairs bedrooms... I must build the storage cubbyholes for the master closet and there is the annual upkeep on all the wood, and some additional trim and tile that I'd like to see if I could get done... When you build a home of your very own, from scratch, it never ends... The exterior oiling is still progressing, the front porch is almost finished and another gallon of linseed oil is gone. I will soon be taking a break to head out into the woods down by the Gila National Forest to search for an antlered beasty.... I'm still on schedule to finish reoiling the outside wood before Thanksgiving.... still a little time to be thinking of the winter ahead and how to make things more comfortable for the future....

Since I began to plan my home, even before we had selected the location, I had been plotting and planning some way to wrestle myself away from the power and gas companies. Alternative sources for heat and light are very expensive up front to purchase and are not easy to finance reasonably. We invested in extra insulation, efficient windows, and other energy efficient components in our home which have, I'm sure, kept our energy consumption down, but the modern internet connected teen attitude is less than conscientious about energy usage. I keep seeing the costs rise and lament not insisting on a solar installation when I was building. I did however carefully consider the orientation of the roof-line to accommodate a photovoltaic system when I could afford it.....Little did I know the amazing amount of usage three teens can rack up! Despite the astronomical expenses on power and heat we have endured, I still am having difficulty balancing the cost of the systems which would reduce the utility bills to zero vs the monthly bills. I am beginning to think the expense and difficulty to finance alternative energy on any scale is directly related to investment by the banking industry in conventional energy companies. It is not in the interest of the financial industry or the conventional energy companies to undermine their massive investments in infrastructure for the monopolistic power and gas industries by the promotion of energy sources which cut into the revenue source that repays the billions of dollars in notes held to finance the construction, expansion, and upkeep of those investments. I keep being reminded that the purpose of the financial industry is to scrape as much profit for the lenders from exchanging money as is possible. "Money for nothing" like the song, is mostly how it seems, although they call it a service..... I think it is a service to the bankers wallets and little else.

 At a very young age I began drawing out ideas, building things, fixing or making things, designing and trying out changes to see if I could improve them. I continue to learn, design, and build. I hope to have cultivated the same DIY attitude in my children, so to reinforce that sentiment, I have been looking at ways to, over time, and with a little investment at a time, begin to build some reasonable resources that will eventually break the strangle hold the energy companies have on us. As yet I've not found any reasonable or elegant methods to accomplish anything with the "do it a little at a time method" in mind. (there are some interesting developments in solar cell arrays with attached inverters ) I have looked at the falling prices for solar voltaic systems but the up front cost even with government incentives is substantial. There are several very interesting systems for heat - but again the up front cost when borrowing with interest is considered makes the investment look unappetizing. I see the cost of energy escalating in the near future and without something to curb the negative economic effect this will have on household budgets I fear there will be many more people in trouble. I have to some extent offset the cost of gas by burning wood.
I installed several fireplaces in our home, which if needed could heat the place fairly well in the winter, but there aren't enough trees for every household to heat their homes with, and wood smoke contributes to smog in densely populated areas and can lead to health issues. The only answer is some form of energy capture, storage, and redistribution. Geothermal, wind, tidal, or solar are the least objectionable natural energy sources other than burning something. Here at our home the choice is limited to geothermal,wind, or solar. The cost to harness any of them in a substantial way is still, today, too high.......

 If our elected officials would stand behind the rhetoric about the "renewable energy future" and "breaking our dependence on oil" and provide the needed political push to truly make the move financially reasonable........either subsidize alternatives as is done for conventional energy, or remove the subsidies and have the "real" market value for energy drive up costs to make alternatives more appear more affordable.....either way we will be seeing a substantial change I think sooner than later......

In between the verbs and punctuation

There are things which by their nature are meditative and calming and others which rip your conscious world at its heart and make you ache and writhe.......

The calm of sitting by the hearth with a blaze flickering, a snifter of brandy, and a good book, dog sleeping by my feet and all the household, snug and safe, asleep in bed.... I cannot think of a better feeling or a more relaxing one.... times of quiet solace and contentment. I have had other experiences where there has been a almost effervescent feeling of wholeness, where nirvana is no longer an abstract concept. I can recall several experiences where the perception of completeness was overwhelming, but nothing compares with the satisfaction and assurance of the long  winters evenings spent by the fire, the relaxation and sense of fulfilled wholeness and calm before I put my tired frame to bed has no equals......

Then there are those moments where the exact opposite is happening, where time dilates and the tenths of a second seem to last hours. Breaking a leg, auto collisions, falling while on a technical ascent of a sheer rock face. All experiences where the here and now seems way too long as the inevitable unavoidably crashes into your reality as you watch unable to change the obvious outcome......

All of these memorable moments teach if we are willing to learn. They teach us what we want or need, or what we wish to avoid and they are difficult to forget. I do not think that physical trauma, life threatening situations, or the bliss of that meditative moment when the world seems whole, are necessarily the moments we should pay the closest attention to. The other moments, the less memorable ones, where there is boredom or frustration, or any of the myriad of other moments connecting life together that we mostly ignore. These are the moments I find to be the most intriguing. They are not remembered by most of us though they are the larger part of our lives. They should be so much more than simply forgotten. Yet somehow we seem to be wired to ignore those moments between the events that punctuate our lives.
I have for a long time been attempting to consciously pay more attention to those connecting moments and savor them - things like walking to the fridge for a snack - checking the windows at night when it is storming outside, carrying in the groceries, doing the dishes or laundry, raking and shoveling, driving in the car to or from, trimming toenails..... All moments that seem less than memorable, but all are parts of our lives. When our lives moments are put altogether these moments are what make up our world.
I found that paying more attention to the small things, and by consciously reveling in life's more mundane moments, caused me to consider more carefully what I do, what is important, what to accomplish, and what may be unnecessary or wasted energy. It is still difficult to determine what is always the best course of action, life tends to have a lot of odd things going on all the time, but with practice and observation some things do become far more clear. I have come to know a more true appreciation for each breath and heartbeat. Considering mundane moments more closely  has naturally lead me to try and make a difference in our world. Making a difference has become a natural effect of observation rather than a cause taken up to defend something. There is no defense and there is no offense only learning.  After awhile action becomes instinct and the observation of moments that pass with out much consideration become few and each moment becomes a new lesson growing with experience the knowledge of a life.

Old friends and new adventures

I took some time the last few days to see if I could locate a friend from a long time ago. I was driving past a place where I remembered he had worked and decided to see if he was still there. The person I talked with on the phone had never heard his name. I wondered where he was and how he had fared. I used the old fashioned method and searched the phone book with no luck, then an internet search and some luck when I stumbled across someone with a similar last name and got a reply that he was my friends son. My friend and I as young men had adventures with our group of avid backpackers some more hair raising than enjoyable. It was good to say hello. I hope we can stay in touch. It brought back many memories of the things we went through, the trouble we got ourselves into, the adventures our "band of friends" had before we drifted to other parts of our lives.

This time of year seems to bring on something that makes me drift into nostalgia. Perhaps it is the remembrance of the annual ritual, returning to school, or the season change and how the darkness and colder morning keep me inside with a hot cup in the kitchen instead of out on the patio. Something, perhaps a memory from long ago, gets sparked this time of year and I reflect on the times and experiences I've been through. I wonder if this is far more then something I alone experience?

Traditionally this is the time of year after the gathering of the fruits of the summer, while the final preparations are made to insure a more comfortable winter, that by the hearth in the longer evening darkness the years adventures were told and the stories from ages past were retold. This is where acts of bravery,conquests, miracles, and disaster became legend, where myths were born. It may be that this feeling of nostalgia is something more in us than a personal remembrance. I wonder if after eons of following the annual ebbs and flows of our world we have in us an instinctual gravitation to remembrance and reflection at this time of year?

Sukkot has passed and harvest festivals are again being celebrated in the valley

It is still a month or more (I hope) before the first frost. The new garlic patch has been sewn and the tiller is almost done working  to turn in the mulch for the new corn,squash, and bean patches. I hope my calculations will be able to meet a lot more of our needs next year for vegetables and that the growing season is a successful one. I also want to set out several rows of berry bushes and try to see if they will take. Perhaps there is still enough time to get them rooted before the frost.
The deer are back down from the high country again. Right on time! They wiped out the leaves on the grape vines and took most of the squash leaves too - they left plenty of hoof prints though......

The squash and beans are ready for another picking and the sweet corn is almost ready too. I will clear the now spent sunflowers in prep for the hoop house over the weekend.  I should have the PVC and fittings by sometime next week for the hoop house and I hope to keep the now mature squash, peas and beans away from the frost for a while... and maybe try to start some winter salad greens.
The mobile-vet has come out and given the menagerie a clean bill of health, shots are all up to date, and no great troubles. Wrestling the goats to give them their shots was the worst of it.  Even the cat who has traditionally had major issues at the vets office was much easier to deal with in her own environment rather than on the cold steel table at the vet.
 We had a soaking rain a few nights ago and the grasses and the garden have perked up substantially. The downpour and wind unfortunately lifted the tarp from the a part of the haystack and ruined a good bit of it. Luckily we've not put in the usual 100+ bales yet this fall. So thankfully the loss was relatively minimal.
  Now that the poo-pile is turned in and the tilling is almost completed I've begun oiling the exposed wood on the exterior of the house. I think I've got a good start and am happy to have begun this task before the first week in October. By the time I'm finished with the door frames, the front and back porch, as well as the rest of the barn, I expect to have used up another 5 gallons of linseed oil. One gallon so far has coated  6 of the 14 posts, 30 feet of 6x8 beam, two door frames, and 4 corbels on the barn. There is a lot more to go, another 100+ feet of beam, 10 more corbels, the 2x 12 rafters and all the tongue & groove paneling is still to be done. Applied by hand mopping it on with a brush I'll be lucky to be done by Thanksgiving. Working on it is not a full time task for me as standing on a ladder painting overhead is taxing. Cramping arms and a stiff neck is no fun after several hours of working at it. It however is a therapeutic activity if done in moderate doses, and the resulting glow and honey butter finish is well worth the time.

Another bucolic morning

 Again the sun has risen above the little valley below where looking from my hillside I see the mornings haze from the dust of the morning traffic on the long bumpy dirt road. I feel so lucky to have the leisure to soak up the morning, and a good cup of coffee, before having to descend to the city and enter the haste and demands of the day. Only if that were the norm rather than the usual scramble to get everyone (myself included) off to school or work...........
The equinox is almost here - I can tell because the morning sun is almost perfectly aligned down the staircase at the precise time as I designed. It will be fall in just a few days and the suns alignment will swing again toward winter.  The preparations for next years growing season and the winter in between must begin. The garden tools handles are all re-oiled. Finishing this years oiling of the exterior woodwork on the house and barn is next but that will wait until later this fall after preparing the gardens.
Oiling woodwork is another annual task that is often forgotten in an age of plastic and refined petroleum chemistry.  I do it to insure the longevity of my wood handle tools, and what I have built. Weatherproofing  the exposed woodwork with a natural linseed oil finish for winter, brings out the warmth of the wood that only an aged natural finish can. Neglected wood does not last very long in any environment. Dried out, cracked, slivering wood seems a waste. Shovel, axe, and hammer handles last for years longer with just a tiny bit of attention after the polyurethane goes....
 Next week will be tilling the new garden areas to expand the production of beans and squash for next year. Planting a garlic hedgerow is also on the list. Soon a part of this years garden will need to be cleared and the cold frames set for fall. Plans are in place to create a hoop green house over part of the existing plot, before the first frost, to see if the beans, corn, and squash can be extended further into the early winter with out too much effort.
 The manure pile from this year needs to be rotated and the mulch and compost from last years pile are now ready to be spread and tilled in, I know it will be nourishing for the vegetable beds because it looks, feels, and smells like potting soil. The composted soil from the pile that I've spread in other areas has already brought the starts of a green grassy meadow to life below the garden where I've scattered wild flower seed in hope of splashy color next year. The compost applied last winter brought up a green grassy area with scattered wild flowers in the back yard where there was only dusty brown and tumbleweed before.
 The remains of the hay burners daily meals seems to really hold the moisture where the native grasses can benefit and the nutrients are promoting an exceptionally obvious greenness as compared with adjacent areas...... I feel satisfied this morning with my little spot and what I've been able to do.  Ah and the list readying for fall continues......
 Another fall tradition.........
I've readied the equipment and am prepared to do the other seasonal task - going in to the forest to make meat. I've practiced and zeroed the rifle that I've decided to use this year - the light weight 30-06. I've practiced the alchemy of reloading to find the perfect load and the accuracy that I need to do the job and then some....... The combination of shell, powder, bullet, and primer has been carefully tested and retested. The last result being the most accurate yet in any shooting position even at 500 yds. I've finished the the final group of loads this evening and they are now safely waiting for the the expedition.

This last week has been enlightening in several ways...

This last week has been enlightening in several ways...
  It is almost Autumn the garden is full and readying for harvest, the fruit has been picked, the wood pile is high in readiness for the cold weather to come, and last winters hatchlings are full grown.....
I have begun to harvest this years roosters, a task which is both unpleasant and necessary.
The unpleasant part is all the process resulting in a transformation from rooster to roaster. Necessary as when roosters come of age they begin to stake claim on both hens and space. Although the flock roams about on almost half an acre the maturing roosters trash each other and the hens too. If the flock was left with more than one the carnage could reduce the production of eggs and reduce the number of hens as well. So roosters to roasters.... Yet another part of the process of an "amateur farmer", learning what others have learned, attempting to feed a family from a micro-scale farming endeavor. So far the amount of produce I have grown, or am growing, is nowhere near enough to cover our needs but scaling up and meeting more of our needs is the intent. Now after several experimental years planting differing types of vegetables, raising chickens, rabbits and goats, I think I have a reasonable idea of what I can handle and what it will take to meet some of our own needs. I know that I would never have the time and energy, with all the hubbub of life as it is for us right now, to truly live in comfort from working our couple of acres. But the effort and the enjoyment at making an attempt are still worth it.....

On another completely different subject.... 
I have also found that there is a great need to distill ideas generated by multiple groups who seem to be working in differing areas but who have similar purpose, or goals, which merge into, or follow along a similar path. Unfortunately there are few individuals who are able to bridge camps of interests. It is more rare to find people who conceive the world around them as a complete thing, and who with this world view, are able to perceive processes in a logical flow which has movable, somewhat interchangeable, components with dependencies on each other but which may be independently completed. Then ask one of these creative individuals to describe, for general consumption by others, these processes and this individual is even more rare.

I have wondered how to cultivate the ability I'm attempting to describe as I have on occasion been in the right place and at the right time to be able to achieve this amazing feat by bringing together somewhat odd disparate groups and accomplish things which are in a common interest where none was originally imagined. I wonder if those instances are simple synergy or weather there is a recipe. As yet I've not found any. But I'll keep looking............... Any ideas? let me know....

Everyday the same old thing - but different

I wake up in the morning regularly, before the sun is up, and begin the day following a similar routine, pull on my robe, let out the dogs, and put out their food. Then get dressed, brew the coffee, and go out to the hen house to collect eggs and feed and water them and the other livestock. In the winter it's a bit different than in summer but not by much except for hauling in wood for the fire and tending it to keep the place warm, the routine is fairly similar year round. Well at least most days are similar, there is always something that makes the routine hard to follow through. Kids needs, meetings scheduled at too early times for someones convenience, things to attend to in town, or having to meet some obligation somewhere that leaving early means the chores are left undone....

Everyday is different but similar........
I wonder how similar the days are for other people attempting to regain a more rural, slightly agrarian lifestyle.....

There is, I believe, a true need to at least attempt to regain and maintain the knowledge and abilities of the rural home from the past, without the fears of the hardscrabble existence that was for some of our forebears a harsh reality.
The pride in growing a garden and canning your own green beans, or raising a flock of chickens from egg to roasting pan and knowing you have a ready supply of fresh food in your backyard and sharing the bounty with your neighbors is truly a blessing and joy.
Being able to bake from scratch, and sew, knowing how to repair things as they need mending, to be able to build things that need to be built. Having need for, and care of, those things which make the bounty of the backyard farm a reality are things which I truly feel are of great value to pass on to the next generation and beyond.

I see in our community a resurgence of small farming activities, gardens and goats, roosters calls echo from hen houses in backyards all along the ridge where our home is. But what of teaching the skills and relating the lessons, preserving the experiences and how-to. Since people don't seem to visit with neighbors so much any more and the front porch is a thing of the past at most homes. It seems the welcome mat is out but no one calls from down the road or across the field. What to do? A dozen fresh eggs? A basket of squash? A fresh baked pie? A neighborly gesture offering some of the abundance and an opportunity to talk - to get to know the people around your neighborhood..... Sometimes it works, but sometimes not, we have become a less inviting society, more self focused and self reliant, and less needful of community and cooperation. And less and less aware of how to get the bounty of the land gathered up and preserved for the winter when the firewood has been split and stacked and it is time to relax and plan for the spring with a warm fire in the hearth and know the pantry is well stocked from the plenty gained from working the land.

So what to do - same old thing - but different