The days get longer now.......

We are past mid winter. The Menorah is put away. Trees of the ancient mid winter rite exhorting the return of spring are still in great rooms everywhere across the land. Though the memory of why an evergreen is brought into the house is muddled in other dogma. The feeding frenzy at the Mall is soon to gain a new level as the season of want drives shoppers in an excuse for activity, driven by the cold, shortness of days, and a desire for "things" mixed with the satisfied feeling one gets when giving to another, stirred by a pervasive saturation of advertising propaganda...... Ah yes the holidays - although I find it crass to suggest that there is little of anything holy left in the mid winter madness in today's insanely consumer driven 'modern'  world ......

To remember what compassion is, to recall the struggles that allow us the comfort and survival against the cold. To remember the miracle of rebirth and renewal that mid winter promises.
To rejoice in the knowledge we have again made it through half the struggle of the season of winter......
To understand the ancient rhythm of the seasons and celebrate the promise of a new spring   

So much seems forgotten .....

       

Snow Cold And comfort

There is a feeling that although fleeting we all should have the experience of. That is the feeling of comfort having set aside all the toils and troubles of the world knowing that at least for the moment the wood is stacked, the pantry is full, all the family is safe and well, warm and snug asleep, home for a holiday, and all the little things that cause stress in our lives have been put to rest for the moment. So rare and precious are the moments like this I reflect on what if and find great compassion for people who have fewer moments of comfort than I.

 Today there is an obvious disconnect between the social nature of humanity and the present society built upon consumerism and capitalism. There is an emphasis on the individual, on personal gain through the status of possessions, and the gathering of wealth, which has us focusing most of our time on working to gain rather than on working on nurturing and husbandry of our children or our planet. This lack of attention to the most important of things is caused by a disconnect from our world, and each other, by an industrial environment that in the name of comfort and convenience allows us to isolate ourselves. Our isolation allows us ignore that which we are no longer daily exposed to. This disconnect with each other and our world has us focused on things which in the long term have us lacking any focus what we as a species relied upon to get us where we are.This disconnect if not repaired could destroy humanity utterly through our ignorance.We need to once again bring into our lives the emotion and connectedness that fosters and and promotes the humanity we enshrine in our teachings and writings purporting wisdom.

The social nature of humanity has been changing due to our ever present desire to control our environment.
Unfortunately the resulting disregard for our fellows and our world has had an obvious impact in every aspect of our exsistance. Some of the qualities of humanity that we have elevated and prize as virtuous and righteous, are in dire short supply. Compassion, Tolerance, Civility, and a willingness to listen and understand are among these qualities.

Compassion, understanding, and tolerance does not exclude ones self from personal turmoil, nor does it necessarily promote a Utopian world of peace and prosperity. The embrace of our variety and vibrancy, our difference and similarity, will no doubt, foster a better world but disagreement and conflict has also been something human. The civility to listen and attempt an understanding is the missing ingredient. The most important issue though is what our children become. By paying close attention, by being involved, and by taking time to hold and comfort as well as to personally educate our children we promote the thoughts, understanding, and compassion that will make humanity's next face in our world. Education is not about Reading Writing an Arithmetic alone. We cannot forget that to be human is to remember our past and tell our stories and share our experiences. To be human is to belong to our family group, our tribe, our nation, and our world. What would ignorance of our world and the others on the planet we share promote? Will the next generation ignore civility and social interaction except through electronic avatars?  Do we no longer teach our children to listen to the stories told by our elders and to think for themselves and ask politely to understan?. We desperately need to teach each other how to be the social beings we have forgotten we are.

Time flys by!

It has been over a month since I have had time to sit and compose a few thoughts. November is almost over and the last leaves are being carried off  with the chill winds whipping through the barn stalls. It is the time of year when the mornings are frozen and the afternoons are too warm for a coat. The oiling of the exterior woodwork  has only been perhaps half completed, and other projects at home and at work are in suspended animation.  The largest project I've ever been part of directing has consumed a major portion of my time. I have been setting the stage and educating the major participants for the better part of the last ten years to reach this point and the plans and projects related to the core goals are all reaching toward completion.  I hope this portion of the project will soon reach a plateau and we can back off the constant fire tending needed for this type of major change to continue momentum.

There is a sense of urgency that has not existed before in my work place. Driven by bad times financially, the need to consolidate resources and more cooperatively manage things has become a necessity instead of simply common sense. I find it strange how we ignore the obvious when the ignorance has few consequences personally, politically, or financially. Then when the hurt hits home we are suddenly twice motivated to make the pain go away. Why does it take disaster and catastrophe to motivate an obviously beneficial change?  

Leaves are now beginning to yellow, I set the first fire in the big fireplace to warm the great room last night. It was cold - not yet freezing - but cold enough that the flickering glow and the warmth from the fireplace was very welcome. Soon the chill will drive most evening activity inside. The indoor activities to keep the place up will begin.... I've been asked to repaint and install a wainscot in one of the upstairs bedrooms... I must build the storage cubbyholes for the master closet and there is the annual upkeep on all the wood, and some additional trim and tile that I'd like to see if I could get done... When you build a home of your very own, from scratch, it never ends... The exterior oiling is still progressing, the front porch is almost finished and another gallon of linseed oil is gone. I will soon be taking a break to head out into the woods down by the Gila National Forest to search for an antlered beasty.... I'm still on schedule to finish reoiling the outside wood before Thanksgiving.... still a little time to be thinking of the winter ahead and how to make things more comfortable for the future....

Since I began to plan my home, even before we had selected the location, I had been plotting and planning some way to wrestle myself away from the power and gas companies. Alternative sources for heat and light are very expensive up front to purchase and are not easy to finance reasonably. We invested in extra insulation, efficient windows, and other energy efficient components in our home which have, I'm sure, kept our energy consumption down, but the modern internet connected teen attitude is less than conscientious about energy usage. I keep seeing the costs rise and lament not insisting on a solar installation when I was building. I did however carefully consider the orientation of the roof-line to accommodate a photovoltaic system when I could afford it.....Little did I know the amazing amount of usage three teens can rack up! Despite the astronomical expenses on power and heat we have endured, I still am having difficulty balancing the cost of the systems which would reduce the utility bills to zero vs the monthly bills. I am beginning to think the expense and difficulty to finance alternative energy on any scale is directly related to investment by the banking industry in conventional energy companies. It is not in the interest of the financial industry or the conventional energy companies to undermine their massive investments in infrastructure for the monopolistic power and gas industries by the promotion of energy sources which cut into the revenue source that repays the billions of dollars in notes held to finance the construction, expansion, and upkeep of those investments. I keep being reminded that the purpose of the financial industry is to scrape as much profit for the lenders from exchanging money as is possible. "Money for nothing" like the song, is mostly how it seems, although they call it a service..... I think it is a service to the bankers wallets and little else.

 At a very young age I began drawing out ideas, building things, fixing or making things, designing and trying out changes to see if I could improve them. I continue to learn, design, and build. I hope to have cultivated the same DIY attitude in my children, so to reinforce that sentiment, I have been looking at ways to, over time, and with a little investment at a time, begin to build some reasonable resources that will eventually break the strangle hold the energy companies have on us. As yet I've not found any reasonable or elegant methods to accomplish anything with the "do it a little at a time method" in mind. (there are some interesting developments in solar cell arrays with attached inverters ) I have looked at the falling prices for solar voltaic systems but the up front cost even with government incentives is substantial. There are several very interesting systems for heat - but again the up front cost when borrowing with interest is considered makes the investment look unappetizing. I see the cost of energy escalating in the near future and without something to curb the negative economic effect this will have on household budgets I fear there will be many more people in trouble. I have to some extent offset the cost of gas by burning wood.
I installed several fireplaces in our home, which if needed could heat the place fairly well in the winter, but there aren't enough trees for every household to heat their homes with, and wood smoke contributes to smog in densely populated areas and can lead to health issues. The only answer is some form of energy capture, storage, and redistribution. Geothermal, wind, tidal, or solar are the least objectionable natural energy sources other than burning something. Here at our home the choice is limited to geothermal,wind, or solar. The cost to harness any of them in a substantial way is still, today, too high.......

 If our elected officials would stand behind the rhetoric about the "renewable energy future" and "breaking our dependence on oil" and provide the needed political push to truly make the move financially reasonable........either subsidize alternatives as is done for conventional energy, or remove the subsidies and have the "real" market value for energy drive up costs to make alternatives more appear more affordable.....either way we will be seeing a substantial change I think sooner than later......

In between the verbs and punctuation

There are things which by their nature are meditative and calming and others which rip your conscious world at its heart and make you ache and writhe.......

The calm of sitting by the hearth with a blaze flickering, a snifter of brandy, and a good book, dog sleeping by my feet and all the household, snug and safe, asleep in bed.... I cannot think of a better feeling or a more relaxing one.... times of quiet solace and contentment. I have had other experiences where there has been a almost effervescent feeling of wholeness, where nirvana is no longer an abstract concept. I can recall several experiences where the perception of completeness was overwhelming, but nothing compares with the satisfaction and assurance of the long  winters evenings spent by the fire, the relaxation and sense of fulfilled wholeness and calm before I put my tired frame to bed has no equals......

Then there are those moments where the exact opposite is happening, where time dilates and the tenths of a second seem to last hours. Breaking a leg, auto collisions, falling while on a technical ascent of a sheer rock face. All experiences where the here and now seems way too long as the inevitable unavoidably crashes into your reality as you watch unable to change the obvious outcome......

All of these memorable moments teach if we are willing to learn. They teach us what we want or need, or what we wish to avoid and they are difficult to forget. I do not think that physical trauma, life threatening situations, or the bliss of that meditative moment when the world seems whole, are necessarily the moments we should pay the closest attention to. The other moments, the less memorable ones, where there is boredom or frustration, or any of the myriad of other moments connecting life together that we mostly ignore. These are the moments I find to be the most intriguing. They are not remembered by most of us though they are the larger part of our lives. They should be so much more than simply forgotten. Yet somehow we seem to be wired to ignore those moments between the events that punctuate our lives.
I have for a long time been attempting to consciously pay more attention to those connecting moments and savor them - things like walking to the fridge for a snack - checking the windows at night when it is storming outside, carrying in the groceries, doing the dishes or laundry, raking and shoveling, driving in the car to or from, trimming toenails..... All moments that seem less than memorable, but all are parts of our lives. When our lives moments are put altogether these moments are what make up our world.
I found that paying more attention to the small things, and by consciously reveling in life's more mundane moments, caused me to consider more carefully what I do, what is important, what to accomplish, and what may be unnecessary or wasted energy. It is still difficult to determine what is always the best course of action, life tends to have a lot of odd things going on all the time, but with practice and observation some things do become far more clear. I have come to know a more true appreciation for each breath and heartbeat. Considering mundane moments more closely  has naturally lead me to try and make a difference in our world. Making a difference has become a natural effect of observation rather than a cause taken up to defend something. There is no defense and there is no offense only learning.  After awhile action becomes instinct and the observation of moments that pass with out much consideration become few and each moment becomes a new lesson growing with experience the knowledge of a life.

Old friends and new adventures

I took some time the last few days to see if I could locate a friend from a long time ago. I was driving past a place where I remembered he had worked and decided to see if he was still there. The person I talked with on the phone had never heard his name. I wondered where he was and how he had fared. I used the old fashioned method and searched the phone book with no luck, then an internet search and some luck when I stumbled across someone with a similar last name and got a reply that he was my friends son. My friend and I as young men had adventures with our group of avid backpackers some more hair raising than enjoyable. It was good to say hello. I hope we can stay in touch. It brought back many memories of the things we went through, the trouble we got ourselves into, the adventures our "band of friends" had before we drifted to other parts of our lives.

This time of year seems to bring on something that makes me drift into nostalgia. Perhaps it is the remembrance of the annual ritual, returning to school, or the season change and how the darkness and colder morning keep me inside with a hot cup in the kitchen instead of out on the patio. Something, perhaps a memory from long ago, gets sparked this time of year and I reflect on the times and experiences I've been through. I wonder if this is far more then something I alone experience?

Traditionally this is the time of year after the gathering of the fruits of the summer, while the final preparations are made to insure a more comfortable winter, that by the hearth in the longer evening darkness the years adventures were told and the stories from ages past were retold. This is where acts of bravery,conquests, miracles, and disaster became legend, where myths were born. It may be that this feeling of nostalgia is something more in us than a personal remembrance. I wonder if after eons of following the annual ebbs and flows of our world we have in us an instinctual gravitation to remembrance and reflection at this time of year?

Sukkot has passed and harvest festivals are again being celebrated in the valley

It is still a month or more (I hope) before the first frost. The new garlic patch has been sewn and the tiller is almost done working  to turn in the mulch for the new corn,squash, and bean patches. I hope my calculations will be able to meet a lot more of our needs next year for vegetables and that the growing season is a successful one. I also want to set out several rows of berry bushes and try to see if they will take. Perhaps there is still enough time to get them rooted before the frost.
The deer are back down from the high country again. Right on time! They wiped out the leaves on the grape vines and took most of the squash leaves too - they left plenty of hoof prints though......

The squash and beans are ready for another picking and the sweet corn is almost ready too. I will clear the now spent sunflowers in prep for the hoop house over the weekend.  I should have the PVC and fittings by sometime next week for the hoop house and I hope to keep the now mature squash, peas and beans away from the frost for a while... and maybe try to start some winter salad greens.
The mobile-vet has come out and given the menagerie a clean bill of health, shots are all up to date, and no great troubles. Wrestling the goats to give them their shots was the worst of it.  Even the cat who has traditionally had major issues at the vets office was much easier to deal with in her own environment rather than on the cold steel table at the vet.
 We had a soaking rain a few nights ago and the grasses and the garden have perked up substantially. The downpour and wind unfortunately lifted the tarp from the a part of the haystack and ruined a good bit of it. Luckily we've not put in the usual 100+ bales yet this fall. So thankfully the loss was relatively minimal.
  Now that the poo-pile is turned in and the tilling is almost completed I've begun oiling the exposed wood on the exterior of the house. I think I've got a good start and am happy to have begun this task before the first week in October. By the time I'm finished with the door frames, the front and back porch, as well as the rest of the barn, I expect to have used up another 5 gallons of linseed oil. One gallon so far has coated  6 of the 14 posts, 30 feet of 6x8 beam, two door frames, and 4 corbels on the barn. There is a lot more to go, another 100+ feet of beam, 10 more corbels, the 2x 12 rafters and all the tongue & groove paneling is still to be done. Applied by hand mopping it on with a brush I'll be lucky to be done by Thanksgiving. Working on it is not a full time task for me as standing on a ladder painting overhead is taxing. Cramping arms and a stiff neck is no fun after several hours of working at it. It however is a therapeutic activity if done in moderate doses, and the resulting glow and honey butter finish is well worth the time.